hey web dude..

Its sad how I can relate to everything in this video..



But its the funniest thing I've seen for ages. Even if it is scripted. Enjoy ~ ! :)

Custom Error Messages...

Someone obviously got sick of seeing the "HTTP Error 500 - Internal Server Error" message....

And the paper plane goes.. Wheeee.... ~~ !

Heh heh... my high score for today.... 88.886m ... :)

Click here to play the game

How far can you throw ?!

Day 4 - Closer

Day 4

Alarm time set: 8.05am
Time awake: 7.45am
Time Out of Bed: 8.20am
Time Reached Office: 9.15am
Breakfast: None

I actually woke up today and just lay there... waiting for my alarm to go off. woot! Jumped out of bed. Then promptly jumped back into bed. sigh.. Winter is definitely not the best time to be trialling this. But I am getting there. :)

******************

I found something on digg.com that will probably solve my lost-keys issue. Only problem is that this promised solution may, or may not happen for another 20 years...

Google in 20 years ??

Click here for the article on digg
Click here for the link on flickr

The Marriage Insight

This probably isn't just a marriage insight. So far I'm able to apply it to all of my previous failed relationships. I'm a sucker for #2. And #3 just doesn't exist. The way I'm going I think I'm doomed to be a spinster for the rest of my life.

While we were at a pub last week, I was told by my bf that he will be 'ditching' me (i.e. I will need to find my own ride home), if I didn't leave with him in next 5 mins. He had basketball on that night.

Basketball has and always will come first. -End of Dicussion-

Given that incident, I don't favour my chances with point #10.


Warning: big amounts of text to follow, copied from one of my girlfriend's emails.

=========

TEN WAYS TO MARRY THE WRONG PERSON

By Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize 10 insights.

1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.
   
   
2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keep sit burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked outthis person's character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for: Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort? Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do? Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do Iwant to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
   
   
3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't get it. Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved -to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent is Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal oriented especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.
   
   
4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person:
   
   o Chemistry and compatibility
   o share common interests
   o share common life goal.
   
   Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're living for while you are single-and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal mate....two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.
   
   
   
5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to "test drive" in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.
   
   
6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?
   
   
7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions:
   
   Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.
   
   
8. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can't be vulnerable, you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.
   
   
9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.
   
   
10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You'll not be their number one priority. And that's not basis for a marriage.
    

==============================

South Park

One of my friends sent me a link which lets you create your own South Park character. Its pretty cool... These were mine..

Just wouldn't seem right without a bottle of beer... :P

10 secs later... a few guns, ciggie, splash of blood and some wings..
(Right... getting a little bit carried away here...)

Final product...Ta-daaa... Feeling a bit d-e-s-t-r-u-c-t-i-v-e ~~!?

Feeling a bit destructive is probably an understatement... For the benefit of my mental health, I really should go get a punching bag.

Click here to create your own character.

What's Your Seduction Style ?

Saw this from LMD .... Not sure how accurate this is ... but hey.. I was bored.. :P

Vegemite

We're happy little Vegemites
As bright as bright can be.
We all enjoy our Vegemite
For breakfast, lunch, and tea.
Our mother says we're growing
stronger every single week.
Because we love our Vegemite.
We all adore our Vegemite.
It puts a rose in every cheek!

Vegemite. The Great Aussie Icon.... Has now been banned in the US. And as this newpaper reports, "To the point of searching Australians for jars of the spread when they enter the country".

Isn't that a bit..errm.. silly ?! I mean I know Vegemite is something either you love or hate, but why would anyone want to ban it ? According to the report, it turns out it is due to a technicality. (I don't understand either...read the article to find out more).

As a kid I used to hate vegemite. Well, I disliked anything that didn't taste like it was super-saturated in sugar syrup. But I too have gradually learn to enjoy my vegemite & butter on toast.

Too bad the people in the U.S. won't know what they are missing out on anymore.

SINsational

While blog surfing in the office today - yes.. a Saturday - I came across this: SINsational

Its a little survey of sins by which you total up the amount next to the sin you have committed.

1. Smoked pot-- $10
2. Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before-- $20
3. Went skinny dipping-- $5
4. Had sex in a pool-- $20
5. Kissed someone of the same sex-- $10
6. Had sex with someone of the same sex $20
7. Cheated on your g/f or b/f -- $10
8. Cheated on your g/f or b/f with their relative or close friend--$20
9. Done oral-- $5
10. Got oral-- $5
11. Done / Got oral in a car while it was moving --$25
12. Prank called the cops-- $5
13. Stole something-- $10
14. Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars--$20
15. Had sex with someone 10 years older-- $20
16. Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27--$25
17. Cried yourself to sleep-- $5
18. Cried during sex--$20
19. Been in love-- $25
20. Been in love with two people or more at the same time --$50
21. Said you love someone but didn't mean it-- $25
22. Went streaking-- $5
23. Went streaking in broad daylight --$15
24. Been arrested-- $5
25. Spent time in jail --$15
26. Peed in the pool-- $0.50
27. Played spin the bottle-- $5
28. Done something you regret-- $20
29. Had a crush on your best friend--$5
30. Had sex with your best friend --$20
31. Had a crush on someone at work --$5
32. Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25
33. Lied to your mate --$5
34. Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25

I got a total of $240.50.... just under 1/2 of the max amount possible. Not too bad I guess. But if I had to pass a list like this to get into Heaven. Then I doubt I would be able to make it in.

And before anyone asks....

Yes, I've peed in a pool before. (Hasn't everyone ?!) The toilet is always situated too far away from the pool anyway.

funny stuff

Found this funny clip online at youtube. Its from a Japanese game show.

The rule is not to laugh. I really do feel sorry for the poor guy.. he is trying his best already.

ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ... :)



enjoy.. !

Reading Between the Lines

This probably would have been one of those emails which makes you smile a bit and think back to your job description.

I might actually smile at a few of those lines if this was sent out by anyone else other than my manager. The manager who interviewed and hired me.

I can recognise two of those lines .. and sadly .. its so true. For my company anyway. I don't know how true it is for the companies listed here.

Here is a copy of the email :

===================================================


"COMPETITIVE SALARY" --- TCS
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" --- ACCENTURE
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" -- COGNIZANT
we don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" --- SIEMENS
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" --- WIPRO
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY" --- IBM
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" --- POLARIS
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED" --- SAPLABS
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" --- NOVELL
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" ---HCL
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" --- INFOSYS
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" --- SATYAM
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

===================================================

Yet another one..

Another totally useless online quiz to waste your time on from Blogthings :

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

"Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship." ... hummmmmmm..... but I think of marriage as something precious ?!?! What the ????

I nearly choked while drinking my glass of water and sprayed it all over my LCD screen at work when I read the "Your risk of cheating is 100%" line. Seriously. My colleague actually came over to see if I was ok, and I had to do a quick Alt-Tab to swap my screen back to my work stuff.

Oh well, atleast it entertained me for about 5 minutes. :)

My Travel Passport

	Your travel type: Party Animal The Party Animal always wears sunglasses during his vacation. He likes a good hotel, with a swimming pool and room service. A couple of drinks at night, maybe see a show, maybe roll the dice, that's the way to spend the evening. Culture? A museum? The others can go while the Party Animal stays in bed. You'll find him by the side of the pool when you get back with a martini to get rid of the hangover.
	top destinations: Las Vegas Amsterdam Acapulco	stay away from: North Korea Ciudad Perdida Darien Gap

Humm... I think I answered "Yes" to one too many drinking related questions during the survey.

Never actually been to Las Vegas, Amsterdam or Acapulco.

I'm flying to Hong Kong in another 3 days... but I still haven't managed to locate my passport yet. (don't ask) But judging from prior experience, these things usually just turn up on the last minute. *fingers crossed**

I'll be away from Sydney for a whole month. Hehe. Going to Hong Kong, stopping at Singapore then flying back home to Perth.

3 more days to go.... :)

Click here to get your own travel profile

Long or Short Hair ?

Lately on Limbueytor's site, there is a post about a facial recognition website. This website matches you to a whole string of celebrities they have online and gives you a rank of which ones you most look like. All you have to do is load a photo of yourself onto the site.

I decided to put it to the test.

I've recently had my hair cut short. The above-my-shoulders type short. It's not the spikey short type, but it still is very short. I still actually don't know which one I look better with. Long hair or Short hair. (Judging from the various mixed reactions I got from my colleagues and friends). So I decided to load a before and after pic of myself into this facial recognition website and see which celebrities I got matched with.

• Previous photo of me with long hair: (Showing closest matches)

Cool ... Korean Actress.. 71% ... I like it :)

• Current photo of me with short hair: (Showing closest matches)

Michelle Yeoh ... hummm.... I can live with that.... lets just see the next one..

Who the.. ??! What the.. ?!?!

I wasn't actually sure that there would be any difference. Since both photos are of myself. And the only difference is the hair. But there was... Maybe it is just a glich in the facial recognition software. Or maybe different hairstyles really can accentuate different parts of your face.

Anyway I'm going to go for ... Long Hair... definitely long hair. Thats it. Case closed. I'm going to grow my hair out long again.

Click here see who you look like most.

Something to Laugh About...

Ever notice how some Chinese to English (or vice versa) translations are just wrong.

So SooOOooo ... horribly wrong ?!

Well here is a site which lists some really funny ones:

http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order.php


Thanks to my colleague who emailed this link around work today, most of us here now have very sore tummys (from trying not to break-out in a laughing fit in front of our monitors).

The pic below shows my two favorite ones...

How on Earth did they get the "fuck" translation from those Chinese words ?!?!?!

Show Me The Money !

Time... as they say... is Money.... So how much is your time worth?

If you want to see this calculated by the second, then check out this Money Meter from Forbes.com

It calculates the amount you earn per second based on your annual salary.

This is my Money Meter at 4 mins and 59 secs :

After my nine hours session of Warcraft today. I do feel slightly more productive after seeing this Money Meter. (I'm On-call for this week, so I do get paid - even if I spend my whole day playing Warcraft).

$2.70 for 5 minutes. Too bad it's showing the amount before Tax .... :(

Click here to get your own Money Meter.

You Are Your Choice Of Elixir

What you drink says a lot about you... (courtesy of Mr Brown via Insaintly Yours)

The original post was posted under the title of "You Are Your Choice Of Poison", but since I will never refer to alcohol as poison, as I would only ever refer to it as my "Elixir of Life", hence the title change... :)

If Women drink...

Beer

Personality:Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach:Challenge her to a game of pool.

Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella

Personality:Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach:Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Gin and tonic / Scotch and soda

Personality:Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach:If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Water

Personality:Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach:Don't.

Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)

Personality:Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach:Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, Mudshake etc.

Personality:Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach:Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Cape Velvet

Personality:Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach:Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)

Personality:Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach:Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......


If Men Drink...

Cider

He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer

He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Castle Lager Beer

He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer

He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Guinness

The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Water

He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

Wine

He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy

Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port

Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky

He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels

Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Rum or Tequila

Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc

He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

---------------------------------

On my usual nights out, I'll start with Beer and will work my way to Scotch n drys and will eventually progress to Shooters (usually Tequila or B52s).

Which according to this article will mean that I'm...

Low maintenance, down to earth but have a picky taste. And I hang around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked ?!!

humm... might have to start laying off the Tequilas during after work drinks with my colleagues from now on....

Visited Countries

I found this neat website while I was surfing around in other people's blogs. It maps out all the countries (in red) that you have visited.

Still so many grey..... *sigh

click here to create your own visited countries map

Pluck Yew

Another important piece of information... (Sent to me from the Peter's Jokes Group).

Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Giving the Finger Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.

Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" or "pluck yew".

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!

"PLUCK YEW!"

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird".

And yew thought yew knew everything...

Important Facts

Some important facts :

• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it...I probably should stop yelling at him now).
• If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (omg... Gotta tell pete this... doubt it would stop anything though).
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.F.G. !!)
• A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life - if I'm male, I want to be a pig too).
• A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy....but I'm still not over the pig).
• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work).
• The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!" ... humm.. pig or praying mantis ? ... Pig).
• The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine ??).
• The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty at the bottom of the pond ?).
• Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity).
• Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know).
• The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........).
• Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference ?)
• Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)
• A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out ?)
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that).
• Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too).
• Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer).
• Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (huh ? What about that pig ?!?)