I have crazy friends...

Friends who are crazy about playing mahjong regardless of whatever time it maybe. (I must admit I'm a bit like that as well).

Over the daylight saving weekend -- The weekend which we actually lose an hour of sleep -- Came an offer to host a game of mahjong. Starting at 3am. And as sleepy as I was, I can't believe I said 'Yes'.

I was kind of spurred on by the fact that I had been the biggest loser in the last 3 rounds. I was hoping to redeem myself.

But alas, that was not to happen.

I blame it on the 3 shots of XO I had when my house mate's fiancé decided to drop in for the night.

Nevertheless, I did enjoy the evening morning. However, this scenery from my balcony told me it was way past my bedtime.

scary post

Ok.. I think I scared quite a few people from my last post. Well.. maybe not scared. But I did end up with a lot of concerned people calling and asking if I was alright or not.

Ahhh... the advantages of having an anonymous blog. Oh well... :)

This is my venting ground. So expect to read stuff that I may not talk about normally.

To those who know me personally, and are reading this. I'm fine. I'm a big girl. And can handle these types of things on my own. I just need time.

I did appreciate the anonymous comment though. thank you.

how much longer ?

I know that being able to actually write this post and put my thoughts down on my blog already puts me into the "I'm-so-having-second-thoughts" category.

I guess having to attend to 3 weddings in the past couple of months has really started to put things back in perspective.

Its also is the not-so-faint realisation that I'm not exactly getting any younger. (Some of my friends already have kids for fark sakes!).. That dreaded feeling that I'm leaving things too late is becoming stronger and stronger.

I guess on one hand, being in a relationship where you know where you both stand can be a good thing. But on the other hand, when you both know you don't regard each other as a high priority in each of our own life goals, then the relationship is limited.

Problem is determining when the fun should end.

Sometimes, I wake up beside him in the morning and wonder how long I can keep on going like this.

While I can wake up next to him and wonder about how long this can last now, I realise that I don't want to be still doing the same thing 2 years later on.

Commitment... I guess we have what I would call an 'understanding'.

The problem is, this is not some relationship between two people in their early 20s, we are a lot older now. So its not going to work if we both want to achieve different goals in very different stages of our lives. We both want different things in life. Somehow, I don't see how we can move towards the same goals together.

How do you know when it should end ?

So True....

You will settle with someone that can steal your heart...
but never bother to find that someone who can touch your soul.