What you drink says a lot about you... (courtesy of Mr Brown via Insaintly Yours)
The original post was posted under the title of "You Are Your Choice Of Poison", but since I will never refer to alcohol as poison, as I would only ever refer to it as my "Elixir of Life", hence the title change... :)
If Women drink...
Personality:Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach:Challenge her to a game of pool.
Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality:Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach:Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Gin and tonic / Scotch and soda
Personality:Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach:If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.
Personality:Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)
Personality:Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach:Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, Mudshake etc.
Personality:Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach:Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.
Personality:Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach:Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality:Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach:Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......
If Men Drink...
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
Cheap Domestic Beer
He's poor / student and wants to get laid.
Castle Lager Beer
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
Vodka or Brandy
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
Rum or Tequila
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.
On my usual nights out, I'll start with Beer and will work my way to Scotch n drys and will eventually progress to Shooters (usually Tequila or B52s).
Which according to this article will mean that I'm...
Low maintenance, down to earth but have a picky taste. And I hang around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked ?!!
humm... might have to start laying off the Tequilas during after work drinks with my colleagues from now on....